Feelings or reason?

If you design a simple questionnaire and ask people whether they are rational or not you will be surprised by the answers! You will be surprised because most of the participants, if not all will say that they are rational. Everyone thinks he is rational.

But there is a great difference between what people say and the truth. People's actions betray what they profess to be. While everyone claims to be rational why then do we see so much irrational actions? Where does the violence come from? Actions speak louder than words. Our actions reveal that we are not rational as we claim to be.

We all have that animal part which always wants to take over the mind and prompt our actions. As a result we find ourselves reacting instead of acting. Suppose someone has wronged you. It is obvious that you will be angry at him/her. Being angry after being wronged is not a problem. The issue is what are you doing after being angry? That is the measure of our rationality. That will tell if we are acting or reacting. 

Consider a child who has broken a glass whose value is 1000 Tshs. Her mother  wants to stick her but the girl escapes and runs away. The mother takes a piece of wood and throws at her while yelling at the young girl. Unfortunately the piece of wood hits the girl and the girl falls down and starts screaming in agony. Her siblings rush to help her and raise her. Because of the pain she cannot even stand on her own. They immediately take her to the hospital only to find that one rib is broken after being hit with the peace of wood. The parent starts regretting of her action. She wish she did not throw the piece of wood at her or she did not stick her at all and instead talk to her child. This is after the anger is gone and now she is recounting the situation. Now, is this parent rational? How many are doing the same things when we are provoked? Why don't we pause and think before we react?

We all know that something is wrong and yet we do it. We know that alcohol is harmful but we still drink. We know that adultery is sin but we still commit adultery. We may know that this relationship will not benefit us but we still put energy into that relationship. For example Samson the Nazarene; he knew that Delilah did not love him. She was there for the interest of the Philistines, his enemies. More than two times Delilah showed that she is on the mission to destroy him but Samson was blind and dumb. His feelings overthrew him. He had deep love for her that he ignored the reality. He didn't look at things the way they are, but he looked at them in the lens of his love for her. 

When we love something deeply we cease to be rational. When the person you love makes a mistake it doesn't appear so offensive compared to when it is done by someone whom you don't love. There was a meme on twitter saying "you will think you have sense, wait until you fall in love". You may laugh but there is a great lesson in this. Samson is just one example of many smart people who perished or suffered great loses because love drove them insane.

It is proved that if you make a decision basing your feelings the odds of making foolish decision are very high. You will react instead of acting. Someone said "speak when you are angry and you will make the speech that you will ever regret". 

Many people are not fulfilling their pledges because they made them out of excitement. After being fed with so many words of flattery you become bigheaded and promise to give one million Tshs for supporting the cause. You go home, take shower and eat your meal. Then you start thinking only to discover that one million is too much for you and you cannot give it. But why did you promise? It's because you were excited. You did not consult your reason before uttering those words. 

Any kind of excitement affects our thinking. Be it anger or joy. We need to be at rest before we make any decision. In chemistry we say standard temperature and pressure (STP). Unless you're at STP, you will make irrational decisions.

Having speculated about the fallacy of feelings in judgement the question comes, are feelings bad? Why did God give us feelings? Why didn't He create us like robots so that we make logical decisions every time?

Feelings are not bad at all. The role of feelings and reason can be explained by the example of the horse and the horseman. The horse without a horseman will cause much damage and may not reach where it was intended to reach. The horseman alone without the horse will lack energy and again will not reach where it was intended. But the horseman on the horse will have energy and reach the destiny. The horseman will control the horse while the horse will provide energy to the horseman.

Feelings alone without reason will cause so much damage. On the other hand, reason alone without feelings lacks energy and nothing will be accomplished. The feelings give energy to the reason and help in accomplishing the desired goal. When the horse overthrows the horseman damage will occur. Likewise, if the feelings overthrow reason damage will happen.

Reason helps us figure out what is right, feelings give us the energy to go about it. We need both but always make sure reason is presiding.

This will not happen overnight, no. It needs patience and exercise. You will fail here and there but don't give up. Whenever you feel pressure pause for a moment. When tempted to yell at someone who has provoked you pause, walk away and have time. Be an observer to your emotions. The good thing about emotions is that they are usually short lived. After a while they will pass away and you will be able to make sound judgement.

Benjamin Juma

benjaminmeso@yahoo.com